Today, the United States Supreme Court denied Alabama state officials’ request to stay a lower court’s ruling that struck down the state’s marriage equality ban.

This is almost nothing new at this point, but it is significant because it’s the first time the court has stayed such a ruling since they agreed to hear arguments in a marriage equality case.  A lot of advocates are seeing as the court tipping their hand as to what kind of ruling they’ll issue on the topic this summer.

Sooner or later, marriage equality will be the law of the land.

Of course, there will always be people who will rant and rave about this.  People who want to talk about “Biblical marriage.”  (Yes, let’s shall we?  Let’s talk about all the patriarchs with their multiple wives and slaves and concubines and women as the property of men and talk a lot more about “Biblical marriage.”)  There will be people who talk about sin and destroying the fabric of modern society and the downfall of Western civilization and the terrible, horrible, no-good “Gay Agenda.”

Let’s talk about that bit for a minute, shall we?  The Gay Agenda.

Anti-equality folks have a lot to say about the Gay Agenda.  They love to talk about it.  They talk about it way more than any gay people I know.  (And I know a lot of gay people.  Because you know, we travel in packs.)  I find it really interesting the insight that these people have into my priorities.  Wrecking Western civilization and breaking up a married straight couple were definitely at the top of my to-do list for today.

I kid, of course.  For the curious, though, here’s what’s really on my Gay Agenda for today, February 9, 2015.

  • 5:30 AM;  Wake up, thanks to that cute little human alarm clock I call my son.
  • 5:45 AM:  Put on Daniel Tiger, feed the dog, pour coffee.  In that order.
  • 6:00 AM:  Slice up three different types of fruit because my son isn’t specific when he asks for “fruit” for breakfast, but he’s very specific when he doesn’t want the fruit I cut up the first time.
  • 6:30 AM:  Pack toddler lunch for daycare.
  • 7:00 AM:  Get dressed, wrestle toddler into his clothes, greet heroic snow-shoveling wife with a  steaming cup of coffee.
  • 8:00 AM:  Drop toddler at daycare, give praise to the Almighty for a snow day in which I can actually get stuff done.
  • 9;00 AM:  Begin battle with laundry.  This will be an ongoing epic.
  • 10:00 AM:  Get dinner going in crockpot, then squeeze in a workout.  Shower and get dressed afterwards.
  • 11:00 AM:  Bake brownies for hard-working wife.
  • 12:00 PM:  Make tuna melt for lunch.  Wash dishes.
  • 1:00 PM:  Clean up cat vomit.
  • 2:00 PM:  Fold the laundry I washed this morning.  Make vain promises to myself about putting it away, but actually stack it in laundry basket from which I will select my outfits all week.
  • 3:00 PM:  After heroic wife shovels the snow again, reward her with a mug of hot cocoa before going to get toddler at daycare.
  • 3:30 PM:  Have long conversation with toddler about reasons why he needs to wear more than a T-shirt when there are four feet of snow on the ground.  Lose the argument overall, but win a small compromise in getting him to put on a sweatshirt and hat before leaving daycare.
  • 4:00 PM:  Play cars with toddler.  Assuming the all-beloved police car is not misplaced.  If it is, spend 45 minutes desperately trying to find it, then play cars.
  • 5:00 PM: Continuing preparing dinner now that it’s finished in the crockpot, while wife plays hide-and-seek with toddler.  Acknowledge that they are being very cute.
  • 6:00 PM:  Engage in a round of toddler mind-reading while trying to determine what the child wants to/will eat for dinner.
  • 6:30 PM:  Snuggle on couch with toddler and wife, watching our evening episode of Daniel Tiger.
  • 7:00 PM:  Toddler bath and bedtime.  Wife does bath and song, I do the stories.  We make a good team.
  • 8:00 PM:  Watch “Freaks and Geeks” on Netflix.  Wife and I both fall asleep on the couch.  We drag ourselves upstairs, shamefaced, upon waking up.
  • 10:00 PM:  Set alarm before bed, because there had BETTER NOT be another snow day tomorrow.  Before falling asleep, marvel again at how lucky I am.

So, that’s it.  My Gay Agenda. I know, threatening, isn’t it?  I’m surprised Western civilization hasn’t screeched to a halt already.

Look out, Alabama.  We’re coming for you.

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