I mean, don’t we all?

Let’s all just get it out there in the open, people: going to the dentist bites.  (Pun intended, obviously.)

I went yesterday.  For a cleaning.  I was technically 4 months overdue for my regular cleaning, plus my last set of x-rays showed some work needing done that I never got to.  So I was prepared for bad news.

Or so I thought.

I actually liked the dentist I saw the last time I went.  He was nice.  He did not judge the entire content of my character based on the fact that I needed some fillings.  He eased my dentist-based anxiety by explaining what he was doing the whole time he worked on me.

I mean, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I enjoyed the experience of having holes drilled in things that are attached to my face, but it wasn’t a nightmare.  I think for a trip to the dentist, that’s a rousing endorsement.

This time, though.  Man.  Ugh.

So a new dentist, not the nice guy from last time, took one look at my x-rays, peeped in my mouth, and was basically like, “Lady, your teeth are a mess.”  Then I got a mini-lecture about ALL the root canals I’m going to need down the road.  And we wonder why I procrastinate when it comes time to schedule my appointment?

So, anyway, I’m going back–tomorrow–for a crown and a filling.  At this point, I just want to be done with it.  I’m over the anxiety; I’m just annoyed.

So dentists out there, listen up.  If you are really interested in getting your patients to listen to your advice, schedule cleanings on time, floss twice a day (who flosses twice a day??) and all that, here’s a tip.  Be nice.  Don’t judge.  Recognize that nobody has perfect teeth, and that’s why you have a job in the first place.  Don’t make me feel like a criminal for having cavities and liking sugar in my coffee.

Because, man, I’m not going to stop putting sugar in my coffee.